My cousin’s daughter didn’t invite me to her wedding and I feel deeply hurt | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

You have done a lot for her over the years and understandably feel rejected, but this could be the start of a more adult relationship

My cousin is older than me and I have always enjoyed a close relationship with her children, despite not living nearby. Her daughter was my bridesmaid, and after we emigrated when she was a teenager I became a distant mentor – cheering on her ambitions and inviting her to spend a post-uni gap year using our home as a base. She has a great independent streak and quickly found her feet, and became close with my own children, some of whom now live near her in the UK. We all get together regularly when I visit each summer. She’s always had access to our holiday cottage, and we let her stay rent-free in our daughter’s university flat while she was saving for a mortgage.

I was delighted when she got engaged, but heard nothing for months apart from a note from her mum to say they were looking forward to the wedding. It later transpired that she had decided to have an intimate affair. I was sad, of course, but as they didn’t have a big budget I understood, and watched the date come and go.