‘I had fantasies about how it would eventually serve me’: my struggle with disordered eating

In an essay in Sucker Punch, author Scaachi Koul deals with internalized fatphobia and learning to love her body

Even during the apocalypse, I was calorie counting.

While the pandemic raged on, I was still following The Rules, a set of requirements around my eating that I’ve had since I was 12. The Rules have changed over the course of my life, but there are always Rules.